It will be alright

Well.  It’s been an interesting few weeks.

(At first, this may seem like all I’m doing is complaining in this post, but if you keep reading, you’ll see that I’m really not!)

Our fridge has messed up on two separate occasions.  We had to have a repairman come out and fix it (which cost money), and we’re going to need another one to come out soon to fix another problem (which also costs money).

Our car battery died and we had to get a new one (more money).

Our computer crashed (we haven’t even had it for two years!), and it contained lots and lots and lots of pictures and all of my homeschool files.  And, being the goober that I am, I hadn’t backed any of it up.  Ugh.  Computer repair is not that cheap, either.

Our air conditioning unit has always given us problems and we finally decided to look into doing something about it.  It turns out the unit is too small for the size of our house and the duct work was cheaply done, plus mice have chewed holes in the duct work.  And, if you’re not aware, fixing duct work and/or buying a brand new unit is not cheap.  We’re talking thousands of dollars.

And this was all timed right as I quit my babysitting job, which, of course, resulted in us going down to a family living on one income (and a teacher’s income at that!).  Of course, this was something Jared and I had decided awhile ago – with us about to have our third child, and with our decision to homeschool our children, it was just time for me to move on and put all of my focus on our family.

Our house will have been on the market for a year this month.  We’ve had maybe 10 showings all year and zero offers, although the market has been pretty good for houses in our neighborhood.  Three houses in our little neighborhood, similar to ours and in the same price range, have sold in the past few months.

The reason we put our house on the market to begin with is because of my husband’s job – it’s about an hour and 15 minutes from our house.  He drove that drive all of last school year.  I’m not a fan of that, of course.  It’s two and a half hours of driving everyday, which is two and a half hours away from us and more gas money than I would prefer to spend. 

Honestly, I just knew that once the school year was over in May, he wouldn’t have to drive it ever again.  We would either sell our house and move closer to his job, or he would find another teaching job closer to where we live.  Neither happened. 

Plus, I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I may or may not be a little tired and hormonal.

BUT.

I’ve been reading about David in my Bible.  I downloaded a chronological Bible reading plan and have been slowly going through it.  It’s actually a plan to read through the Bible in a year, but that ain’t happenin’.  First, there are several chapters to be read on most of the days, and I just don’t like to move that quickly.  I don’t think it’s a good thing to rush when we’re reading the Bible.  We need to move slowly and allow time to meditate and reflect.

Second, I actually don’t read my Bible everyday.  Like today.  Sometimes I need to stop and quit cramming in more and more and, like I said above, take time to meditate and reflect and pray about what I’ve been reading.  Or not necessarily what I’ve been reading, but what’s going on in my life, or just about God in general. 

Today I’m meditating and reflecting (and praying, of course) about all of the above.

I like the Bible reading plan because 1) it’s chronological, and 2) it weaves the Psalms in and out of the readings about the life of David.  And that’s where I’m currently at right now – 2 Samuel and Psalms. 

Now, what I’m about to say is nothing really deep or profound or new.  It’s been said before.  Really, most of what we read or talk about probably isn’t original.  Someone else somewhere at some time has most likely said it before us. 

Anyway, about David.  He was a man after God’s own heart.  He was God’s anointed one, chosen to be Israel’s king.  He was full of faith and trust in God, and love for Him.  Reading the Psalms that he wrote, his faith seemed to be unwavering.

But, David was flawed.  He made mistakes.  And, even though he was chosen to lead God’s people, his life was not perfect.  Things didn’t go the way he would have preferred, I’m sure. 

“Look on my right hand and see,

For there is no one who acknowledges me;

Refuge has failed me;

No one cares for my soul…

Attend to my cry,

For I am brought very low…

Bring my soul out of prison…”

(Psalm 142:4,6)

David was still human and felt human emotions; he had moments of feeling overwhelmed and low in spirit.  But he didn’t try to hide it and put on a happy face and pretend that everything was great and wonderful all the time.  He acknowledged his feelings before God. 

And that’s okay for us, too.  I know I have a tendency to feel like there’s something wrong with me when I feel low or like things just aren’t working out.  I feel like I don’t have enough faith or something.  But that’s just life.  We’re fallen and we live in a fallen world.  We’re not perfect and we won’t always feel perfect because we’re human.

David’s reign wasn’t easy, either.  He had enemies who pursued him and his life was in jeopardy on many occasions.  We probably don’t have enemies pursuing us, trying to kill us, but we do have our own struggles and difficulties.

“My soul, wait silently for God alone,

For my expectation is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation;

He is my defense;

I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory;

The rock of my strength,

And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us.”

(Psalm 62:5-8)

But, like David, full of imperfections and difficulties in our lives, we must turn to God.  We must trust in God and believe that He is our strength.  He is with us.  He will take care of us.

“Bring my soul out of prison,

That I may praise Your name;

The righteous shall surround me,

For You shall deal bountifully with me.”

(Psalm 142:7)

To me, this is enlightening.  David asks God to revive his soul and then what will he do?  He will praise God.  Do we do that last part?  (And when I say we, I’m really asking myself that question.)  Do I acknowledge what God has done for me? 

And then the last of the verse:  “The righteous shall surround me, for You shall deal bountifully with me.”  What faith David has.  He trusts in God’s eventual goodness toward him.  We must trust that it will be okay.  God is faithful.  He will not abandon us.

“Hear my cry, O God;

Attend to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,

When my heart is overwhelmed;

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

(Psalm 61:1-2)

In the Psalms, we see how in all circumstances, David comes to God in prayer.  He is constantly seeking God because he knows that God is his source of comfort and strength.  David writes over and over again about trusting in God.  About the goodness of God.  About remembering and meditating on what God has already done for us and for His people.  About being thankful and praising Him at all times, even in the midst of struggles.

So.

Things don't seem to be going all that well at the moment.  But it will be okay.  We have much to be thankful for.  Family who is willing to help when needed.  Little blessings - aka happy, healthy children.  Enough food to eat.  A husband's job to support us.  Love.  Time spent together.  Savings accounts :)  And many other things.

We have much to praise God for.  We've had struggles in the past, but God has always taken care of us, in many different ways.

Although it's not always easy, I know that it will be okay.

Look at these blessings...aren't they precious!